I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
