How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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