let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
