We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
