I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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