I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just invented taco cereal.
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When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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