i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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