Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
