They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
