Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He kissed a someone with a penis
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
