i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
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Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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