After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
