Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you never un-have a 4some
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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