im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize