it was like his penis was on wheels.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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