weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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