I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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