"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
