it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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