so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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