Quick, to the slutcave!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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