I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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