Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
