Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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