Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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