In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
