You just made me feel so damn special
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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