I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.