I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
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So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.