I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
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I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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