Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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