Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize