Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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