did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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