He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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