our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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