he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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