one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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