my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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