Only a mothe r could love this liver
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
