Buhtt sex?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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