I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Two words: nipple clamps
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