Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
