Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
