you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
