Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
