I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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