Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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