Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize