Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
