Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
