Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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