help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
