I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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