Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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