chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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