We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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