He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
