My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
