You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
