I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
